The Newnan Mass-A-Cree

Remember Arlo Guthrie's hilarious classic song "Alice's Restuarant"? He refers to the Alice's Restaurant mass-a-cree. Well, this is the tale of the Newnan Mass-a cree.

I'm usually a peaceful sort of gal. But, this week I massacred a bunch of wasps and boxwood. The boxwood was put in by the house's builder, no doubt because it was the cheapest thing he could buy by the boxcar load.

This boxwood was horribly overgrown when we bought the house four years ago. But, I was working hideous hours and never had time to prune it. So, it became even more overgrown.

Boxwood grows BIG. Why on earth it is ever chosen for foundation plants, I will never understand.

So, one afternoon last week, I went out to prune the boxwood. Only problem was that the local wasps had selected our boxwood for their summer vacation home. Hmmm....I'm really afraid of wasps.

So, I grabbed a can of wasp spray and one of my mother's old canes. I'd whack the boxwood, wasps would fly out, and I'd spray them. I went up and down the whole front of the house, whacking and spraying. After a few hours, most of the wasps seemed to be gone.

I grabbed my teeny tiny wheelbarrow and lopping shears. After cutting one tenth of the first shrub away, my wheelbarrow was full. What was I thinking? So, I just started tossing them on the lawn.

Two hours later, the boxwoods were all cut down to stumps. I almost felt sorry for the few wasps who returned home to find their home all chopped down.

Now the boxwood have been hauled to an out of the way spot, awaiting the chipper.

The boxwood will look pretty ugly for a few weeks, then they'll sprout back out. By fall we'll decide if we want to completely remove them and replace them with something more interesting, or if we'll try to keep them pruned to a decent size.

The boxwood in front of the porch had grown almost as tall as the porch railing. Cutting them back revealed yet another of the builder's shortcuts...no lattice to cover the front of the opening under the porch.